December 2009
78 posts
Rememberance.
Sometimes I feel like I want to be
remembered for being kind caring
for being warm and reaching out
a vine with so many leaves, growing at such a rapid pace
yet here I am,
driving with open windows
on a snowy sunday morning
because it’s always too hot
and I always end up wearing shorts in this type of weather
and I just stop and think
what does the vine look like now
old, mangled,...
Shame.
For still being in high school
for living in this small town for so long
for being related to my brother
for having to hear the things he says
for being related to Karen
for having to hear her attempt to relate to ludicrous things Ryan says
but mostly just for
being here right now
when I know full and well
that I am supposed to be
way way over there.
-Js
oh wait….lemme check…..yup. pretty sure this feeling is more than enough to move the largest of mountain ranges.
I LIVE FOR.
Those feelings you feel
when you receive that message you received
after spending all those hours waiting for hours to pass
and meeting with the one you’ve been absolutely dying to meet.
-Js
Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.
– John F. Kennedy
Learn the necessary lessons
from those who betray you
and store those lessons within your brain
yet never forget
the betrayer.
-Js
To whisper.
I could really go for the top of a mountain right now.
-Js
Unceremonious.
something never entered that boy’s head
that never should have
so he turns to books for reliability
and friendship
for the explorations that so many hands promised him
yet the pages
only delivered.
-Js
If.
Why are there so many of these in the world?
They shouldn’t exist.
They wouldn’t exist.
If we’d all just try.
-Js
Vision of Fear. Image of Fear.
What image does fear take ?
Simply different images,
all with the same emotion
powering the body ?
So it seems
that when a spider falls on her lap
is the equivalent
to the mother losing
all of her children, of her loves, in an accident
to a boy’s puppy passing on
to an elderly couple held at gun point
to the boy leaving forever and never returning
to me.
But, just as...
Horrid & Vile
I used to never think
that a person could be so
lazy nor stubborn nor obstinate
‘til I saw this pathetic excuse
for a boy
license and law
declared him man
but
personal manners and conduct
declared him
a pathetic fool.
Meet,
my brother.
-Js
p.s.
ALSO This is going to be dedicated to onanaturalhigh because she liked a few of my poems, literally and virtually (likes via...
Insight.
Let me put this in perspective
certain people will enter and exit your life
as if you were a forest
a labyrinth of thoughts
helping them get lost
they will make their exit
certain people will enter your life
and live in it for eternity
just
just make sure you learn all you can from
everyone you can
just because that’s the right thing to do.
-Js
Mislead.
Funny how the biggest things to one
are the
smallest and most insignificant to another.
-Js
somehow he was a boy
a man
who learned to kill with his words
kill anything
goals dreams hope
sadness hatred fear
love
lust
it all could live prosper
or die
with the touch of his
-JS
I stop and think,
but Hemmingway killed himself.
What about me?
What about me?
so we’d have never met : (9:36:58 PM) we’d go through life : (9:37:01 PM) never meeting one another : (9:37:05 PM) and that’d be better. : (9:37:21 PM) because hey ! at least we weren’t lucky enough to meet on a chance encounter : (9:37:25 PM) we had to meet on an online site : (9:37:32 PM) like some hidden, back alley transaction : (9:37:38 PM) of a cheap...
Advice
Shan’t
don’t let emotions control your decisions,
think logically, your brain should be isolated
away from emotion
don’t let it cloud your judgement
it makes things worse in the end
every time in the end
it ends up for the worst
so,
always go with your brain
always think logically
when you want to achieve the
goals and dreams
you’ve set up in your brain
-Js...
Words.
One who can manipulate
their face
their words
to display whatever emotion they please,
they maintain the control
of the situation around
yet
never of
internal processes.
-Js
Pandora.
It’s the reason
they call it pandora’s box
and it
carries such a horrid
connotation.
You open it,
and millions upon millions
of
.
fly out and
infest your life
brain
your very being.
close it
close.
-Js
Deciduous & modified.
what an odd little
thing
this seed
we made together
half you
half me
composed ,
in a mixture so that we were both
dispersed randomly throughout
then we added our thoughts, dreams, hopes
ideas
and grew
shooting up and up and up
as though
that gibberellin had been
in abundance
and we reciprocated
yet it grew
wouldn’t stop ‘til it reached the sky
it seemed, to me , that...
Gravity.
I feel as though
I am losing you to gravity
as you just slip through my fingers
I should start calling you fog,
for even fog is affected by gravity,
being pulled to the ground ,
as it falls from the center stage
as the man in the top hat
puts on a ‘magical show for the history books’
and as I watch that fog fall
i sit in the 221st row
squinting
because I feel, not know,
...
FIRE.
Can’t burn my thoughts
in fact, my thoughts eminate
with flames
of so many emotions
and multitudes
burning cities and
those in its wake
-JS
Rivers of lust, love, and relating.
Oh the
Ebb & flow of the new
unfamiliar river
with its banks coated
icy snow, so that the rain of
insight and experience
won’t penetrate the frozen water
See
there
there is a frozen layer of water
that glides and protects over the river
that runs beneath it
that river
of lust, love and relating
Where this ice comes from
no one knows
it blurs one’s
vision
you act...
Waiting
Shall end,
from this point on,
from the point three days ago,
on.
I can no longer sit, think, worry, wonder
for my brain becomes stagnant of thoughts and ideas
all just murky water
as i wait.
As I wait,
I am now to stop
I shall reveal it all
to you
bottle up a key part of this
murky ocean
that is my mind
vast
never ending
dive
deep
down
below and capture
the thoughts
emotions...
Guess
I guess
I’ll have to show the world
that creativty and business
can blend
harmoniously,
in fact,
that they cohabitate
and flow flawlessly freely
uninihibited
and conduce
brilliancy
success
-Js
For when I say 'Go Die',
I truly mean
leave my life
disappear
and never return.
-Js
Snow
Living in a land
of snow
the gray
rare, prized color
so grey gray
was the sky SKY
it is perfect
everything is gray
and pure pieces of white
fall
straight to the ground
and i sit
in the freezing weather
and listen to the snow
hit the ground
because that is how perfect the snow is,
you can hear it,
colliding with one another,
each a rare, unique peace
snow speaks more to me than...
May !
May we never be hurt !
For if we are,
we will then learn lessons rarer than the most
precious of stones
dark, deep green
emerald
high, crisp
diamond
lessons scattered throughout
lesssons so massive and life altering,
that when one wears them affixed to their neck
or finger
people will gasp and exclaim
“oh what a jewel ! “
-Js
Conversations with God. Conversations with mother....
I need these conversations
for I need to know
why I so royally screw up
and throw myself into such
intense and fiery situations
that eat up my
mind
heart
soul
and time
that spit me out
hundreds of years wiser
and thousands of years
sadder.
-Js
love letters
I am really impressed with our conversations.
calliebeattie:
Justin: so what should i scribe in this letter? should i use blood ? or no?
Callie: yes. of course. more sincere.
Justin: i thought that was a given
Callie: yep
Justin: right! and how many pieces of hair do i tape to it ?
Callie: and you must write it on your own sheets of skin.
Justin: was it ten or twenty?
...
So many.
I’ve been told by so many
i have standards
and am hypercritical
what does this mean ?
Either
I am fearful of settling for something less than I deserve
or
I just know that out there, someone exists perfect for me.
It’s both
-Js
Multifaceted.
“Women have a strength to them: a certain physical and emotional drive that I just do not see in men. And as envious as I can be, sometimes I wish I had that. And even then, sometimes I believe I do have it. I have intuition, and vulnerability, and passion, and the way of motherly and unconditional love and of complete selflessness.”
-exhaleglassshards.tumblr.com
Healing. Not Hassling.
I am healing
from this decision
I am recovering from
my addiction of sorts
and learning ways to
fix everything.
-Js
All night.
For the entire night,
my phone’s screen
didn’t once light up to display your attempts of contacting me
yet it blinked periodically letting me know
that it was low battery
claiming
‘battery is dying’.
My cell phone was dying and all i thought was
how symbolic.
-Js
100 rules & facts to which I possess for whatever...
1. Like whoever you please, for whatever reasons. Don’t even question, just pursue and witness the results.
2. Always question everything. How else do you expect to learn exponentially?
He sat and asked.
What are you doing
Why are you doing this to yourself
constantly prodding at this bud of a relationship
that seems God’s own sun couldn’t cause to blossom
So he took the alley of another
and believed
that maybe it took something more powerful than God’s sun
to turn this from
bud to bloom.
-Js
Mixed.
Receiving mixed signals,
as the old saying goes
is accompanied with a hard and fast rule,
break all rules,
and follow intuition.
-Js
I don't know
I don’t know i don’t if it’s ok to feel like you’re falling apart
i don’t know i don’t know i don’t if it is ok
to write without inhibitions to just type and think
of nothing
but those letters
words falling from your brain
to neve rmeet the backspace
i don’t know what you think of me when we pass in the halls
i feel a wobbly world
of...
Relationship Rules of the Redheads.
1. he must text first and initiate texting conversations , majority of the time.
2. he must be intelligent, obviously think past his nose, be willing to expand horizons (via books, new music, adventures etc.)
3. Attractive attractive attractive, personality and physically.
4.HE MUST LIKE YOU A LOT AND THINK YOU ARE AMAZING AND GREAT [and inform us on the reasons for why he is attracted to us ]
...
GET OUT.
GET OUT.GET OUT.GET OUT.GET OUT.GET OUT.GET OUT.GET OUT.GET OUT.GET OUT.GET OUT.GET OUT.GET OUT.GET OUT.GET OUT.GET OUT.GET OUT.GET OUT.GET OUT.GET OUT.GET OUT.GET OUT.GET OUT.GET OUT.GET OUT.GET OUT.GET OUT.GET OUT.GET OUT.GET OUT.GET OUT.GET OUT.GET OUT.GET OUT.GET OUT.GET OUT.GET OUT.GET OUT.GET OUT.GET OUT.GET OUT.GET OUT.GET OUT.GET OUT.GET OUT.GET OUT.GET OUT.GET OUT.GET OUT.GET OUT.GET...
Broken
I will not become
some
shattered, dejected person
for I am independent, strong willed, intelligent,
I’ve experienced many different
instances in life
and i’ve learned so much
I am who I am today
and I shall not forget that
for this silly thing
that most of us refer to
as a crush.
I shan’t be crushed.
I am Justin.
Narcolepsy.
And you never write anymore and you never contact and we don’t touch nor flirt nor play coy nor do any of the things i crave, not crave, NEED. Desperately. I don’t feel I only know know what’s going on around, know there exists a void, hole in my chest which many look straight through as i float because you’ve done this to me unknowingly, without care? You’re slowly...
There is no f***ing spirit in the world like in...
kingorlowest:
fuckyeahsodomites:
-Lady Gaga
I may receive criticism because of this or I may not.
The ”gay community” as she put it,
has never seemed collective;
be it in spirit, in goals, in the mindset.
Always exploited by the media
for incriminating things,
when you have so many people
watching and waiting
you always have to appear to be an
angel
to receive what...
Goner.
‘Should a monster have existed,
it was buried deep within’
for your love
is miles deep
and i’m on the otheredge
abridged
shorten this distance soon,
or i’ll be forced out.
left
-Js
What has become.
What has this world done
What has become
of us?
I am fearful
of being naked with you
I wonder
what is so wrong
why the words on a page
keep so many hearts, love, experiences,
at bay.
From never occurring,
What has become of us !
Look, here !
I beg, please go and live your lives ! For we are
short lived creatures
with never ending minds and capacities
You...
All I had.
And all I have,
to show
for the months
of
October
November
are
college applications, acne, and hurting hearts.
What I’ll have to show
for the months
of
December January February March April May June July August
are
full hearts, love, relationships, clear skin, and college acceptance letters;
a happy, life adoring, red headed, boy.
-Js
Feardom.
And I fear,
that I shall never be found
that I’ll spend eternity
alone
with no fame, love, or money.
For those are what matter most in life?
-Js
Right ?
lost songbird.
I only keep this on repeat because you said it was your favorite and I feel that if i keep with this i’ll be your favorite and I know I deserve the world so that’s what I am expecting from you. -Js